Taking a leak

Clearly, there’s some sort of spacetime or quantum leak in the vicinity of my couch. Perhaps even large enough to be called a rift, although I’m not sure of these things.

But a spacetime quantum leak would explain both the appearance of a gignormous hornet-like insect this evening, and the weird dreams I’ve been having lately.

The insect is huge, as far as Vespidae go. Not B-29 large, but large enough for me to gasp in amazement when one materialized while I was eating supper. I watched as it crashed around the room, seemingly unable to see the white walls, then it disappeared somewhere behind the lampshade.

I thought, perhaps, it was ensnared in my pillow. Ever since the disastrous sleep study a couple of years ago, I sleep on the couch, and store my pillow on the back against the wall during the day. I shook it out furiously, not wanting a transdimensional bee in my bonnet, so to speak. But nothing.

I looked behind the couch, under the table, in the lampshade, still nothing. It had vanished completely.

Thinking about how it had appeared and disappeared caused me to wonder about dreams I’ve been having. I never have dead people dreams, but lately, all sorts of them. Could I be sleeping on a pillow-portal that takes my head to other dimensions where these people have not died yet?

This, BTW, was how I ruled-out traversable wormholes, as these folks are already dead in this cosmos, so if encountering them live, it must be a parallel cosmos.

Experimentation was called for in the form of an after dinner nap.

Sure enough, I was taken to someplace where where an old friend of my grandfather’s, and (at least in this cosmos) deceased owner of one of R-Town’s gay bars, was still live and kicking, although quite elderly.

I had a nice, but altogether too short visit, during which I completely forgot to ask what the heck was going on with my pillow. Just as well, I’m sure. My brains passing through branes would be too much to have to explain.

If traveling by bus is called “taking a bus”, then traveling by spacetime quantum leak could be called “taking a leak”, right? That’s how I excused myself before returning to my living room.

The quantum vespidae made a brief return after I awoke. I can’t begin to describe my gratitude at not colliding with the thing in the spacetime pillow portal.

Fortunately, tomorrow is laundry day. Perhaps a dose of liquid Tide can get the quantum flux out. I use the kind with the colorsafe bleach. Surely that’ll do the trick.

Comments are closed.