Pulled the trigger
There never seems to be a right time to quit smoking. I’ve been putting it off for several years now. There’s always an excuse. For me, the biggest one is that I vividly remember who my emotions—particularly anger—went out of control the last time I quit and the times I’ve attempted to quit after I started again.
The Universe has been sending me some not so discreet signals this year. A friend in the rooms dropped dead of lung cancer in less than three months from diagnosis. He had just turned 40. There was the guy who dropped dead of a heart attack oin his sleep. He was 52. And another guy, in his mid-40s, developed cancer in the mouth. They may have caught it in time. No-one knows for sure yet.
I didn’t respond immediately to these messages, so the Universe go a little more personal. For instance, I lost two lighters in two days. I never lose lighters. I get over a year out of a disposable Bic, and still have it when it finally poops out. Then, I lost a lighter a co-worker at the library gave me.
Okay, okay. I’ll quit. Soon.
Time passed.
Then it ratched up the messages another notch. My body started sending me signals. Everything has been all screwed up for the past month or more. Plus, I’ve started coughing a lot. I never really had a smoker’s cough before. Now I do. Big-time. And nausea after smoking. Never had that before either, unless I was already sick, or ready to puke anyway from drinking too much.
Tonight, I ordered patches. They’ll come in next week sometime and I’ll begin using them a week from Sunday.
My biggest fear is losing my temper at work. My new schedule gives me five days to get started, and I’m hoping that the patch will help me keep an even keel. We’ll see.
November 3rd, 2006 at 1:26 pm EST
That’s f#cked up – best of luck with it. I’ve never been a smoker but this year I got seriously addicted to World of Warcraft. Sounds like a joke, but I was hooked real bad.
I played 6 to 8 hours a day for about 4 months and I considered myself a casual player. I made excuses to “show you something” when my friends came over to visit so I could play while they were there. When I was playing I got angry if something kept me away from it for too long.
I eventually copped on and one day just quit. Luckily it was only psychological and not a chemical dependence and I’m starting to lose the weight I put on by getting out on my bike a lot more (or would be if I didn’t hurt my back!)
Anyway I’ll quit rambling – best of luck with dropping the smokes!