Good Friday
Just a quick note to say it’s all good between my ears and with CBC. No major issues, no minor issues. I have a longer entry in progress to fill in the details of how adjustments are happening in my head. But I’m very busy right now and it may be a while before I finish it. Meanwhile, I wanted alleviate any concerns.
We had a nice evening on Wednesday though. CBC picked me up early for the meeting. We went for coffee around the corner at Starry Nights. Something more than “just tired” seemed to be bothering her. Either wasn’t quite ready to talk about it or wasn’t quite sure how to put it.
After all these years of therapy, I’ve gotten good at the psychologist’s trick of waiting quietly and patiently. CBC knows the only defense is to be quiet herself.
Anyway, quiet coffee went past the meeting start time. “You wanna go to the meeting?” asked CBC.
“I don’t have a strong feeling either way,” I replied. “It seems like you’d like to blow it off though.”
“Yeah, kind of. I’d rather hang out with you for a while.”
“I’m cool with that.”
“So what do you wanna do instead?”
“How about dinner?”
“That sounds good. Where do you wanna go?”
“How about Veneto’s again?”
“I was hoping you’d say that.”
At Veneto’s we had to wait for a table for nearly a half-hour. That was just fine by me. It was warm and humid and smelled just great.
I turned to CBC, “You know? Glade could make a ton of money if those plug-in air fresheners came in something other than floral—like Italian restaurant for instance.”
“I’d never leave the house,” she laughed.
After dinner, (we had the same as last time, it was great again too) we went over to The Spot for more coffee. We closed the place. At least, that’s what I think they meant by flicking the lights on and off. Afterwards we sat in the car watching snowflakes melt on the windshield.
Once CBC opens up, there’s just a flood of stuff that comes out. I got out maybe a dozen sentences in five hours. It was good. I liked it.
Same thing happened on the phone Thursday. Twice.
And frankly, it’s so much better now that the sexual tension is out of the way. I’m not always thinking about how to ger in her pants, and she’s not always thinking about how to keep me out of them. Also, there’s the issue of what would happen if I went on to better prospects.
“You know,” she started, “I wasn’t sure if I’d ever hear from you again.”
“When?”
“First I disappeared for three months, then I told you I’m not into gay guys, then I told you I’m transgendered.”
“Yeah, well the gay guys thing stung a little at first. Then I realized you were talking about the ones who view you only as a sex object.”
“I get a lot of that.”
“I’m sure you do bein’ all too cute for words and stuff,” I said. She blushed and did the shy-guy thing. Not the shy-girl thing. It was definately the shy-guy thing. There’s a huge difference. It’s one of the things guys just do better. IMHO.
“Still,” I continued, “you can’t make me go away that easily. I told you I don’t click with most people, so it’s not easy for me to make friends. After I do, you’re pretty much stuck for life.
“Ask Willie. He had to move back to Nicaragua in 1998. We’re still very close. Fortunately, he’s in Toronto now, so we get to see each other every now and again. Or, ask Jeffrey. Even maximum-security prison walls don’t make me drop a friend.”
“What would it take?”
I laughed. “You’re not planning to dump me are you?”
“Nonono! Nothing like that.”
“Well,” I stared into my coffee, “the people who I’m closest with keep growing, enriching their own lives and, by extension, mine. So if you never change I’ll eventually get bored or frustrated and move on.”
Long pause. “Huh. I never thought of it that way.”
“Neither did I until recently.”
“Well, I have a lot of stuff to figure out.”
“Which translates to a lot of growth. Expect me to be hanging around with you every step of the way.”
“What about when I have the operation?”
Only men will truly appreciate what flashed through my head. “Now that I don’t want to see. Nor do I want you showing me your new, custom-crafted pussy.”
“Aw man! I’m gonna have the best pussy.”
“I bet. Just keep it in your pants for me, okay?” A beat. “And keep your tits in your shirt too.”
