Journal

As for Danger-Boy, the stress of trying to find her and then waiting for the next day, had completely dissipated as we headed home. He was really relaxed and in good spirits and good humor. Even Debbie’s bitching when we picked her up didn’t even faze him. A far cry from the night before.

And oh, the night before! I was really beat. I’d been looking forward to a lot of sleeping at the cabin. Anyway, we stayed in on Saturday night and went to be shortly after 12. I was nodding right out, but he was restless with anticipation. I knew he really wanted to stay up and talk, but it just wasn’t in me. As I’d doze off, he’d tickle my feet or something. After an hour of that, he got up a went to the Forum for a few beers.

I never heard him come in, never heard him make a sandwich, run the water or anything. But when he sat down in the reading chair to watch me sleep, I woke right up. He definitely had had a few beers, for he asked me if I would suck him off. Dammit! I was just so sleepy I could barely get out, "No, not right now." before I zonked out again. I never even noticed when he came to bed.

Let me get this out at the start so it doesn’t get lost:

I don’t know who, but it seems that someone I'd apparently pissed-off at Citibank got wind of my contract renewal and nixed it. (!) Last Friday, I was told I was getting a six-month renewal and a buck an hour raise, Wednesday on my way out they told me, Friday (yesterday) is my last day.

After I got over the initial shock, I said "Fuck them!" and got right on the phone to Tek Systems.  Ali, (my agent) confirmed it.  She asked if I wanted some time off, or should we find something right away?  Panicking, I replied, "No, I need something right away!"

Well, I don't know if you know how bad the economy is here in Rochester right now.   Kodak, Xerox, Bausch & Lomb, GM and ITT Automotive are all laying off right now, all the colleges are closed for the summer, there's NOTHING here.  So I reminded Ali that I want to relocate to the desert southwest.  She's shopping my resume in New Mexico, Arizona and Nevada.

In the meantime, she got me a five-week gig in Connecticut, less than an hour away from the ocean.  It starts next Thursday, a few bucks an hour more than Citibank, (and CT taxes are less than NY!), per diem for hotel and meals, unlimited overtime (like 12-14 hours a day, but with two consecutive days off every week!), double-time for 4^th of July, and a completion bonus!  Did I have to much thinking about that?

So, me and Danger-Boy are going to Connecticut this coming Wednesday! (Please don’t alert the authorities. I don’t want a repeat of last weekend's Canada fiasco!)

I may trade my trusty Gateway tower in on a notebook computer come Monday.  If I can't get a good price on either one, I may just keep the journal by hand for five weeks, and forward all my mail to my Hotmail account so I can check it from work, (if I can snag an internet account.)

I really don’t think I’ll have room in the car to take my PC. It’s a full-size tower with a 17" monitor. We’ve gotta pack a lot of clothes, (businesswear for me, and casual and beachwear for two,) laundry stuff, all my stuff for work, my tools for the car, (in event of a breakdown), a bunch of books to read, cooler to stock the fridge in the hotel room, and maybe the microwave to save a little money on meals.

The pics:

I got the pics that we took last week back from Kodak yesterday. They look great, except for one where the flash didn’t go off. It’s of me and Willie on the beach with the sunset in the background. Maybe I can fix it with Photoshop. Tomorrow I’m running over to Mark’s to use his scanner. Look for the pics to be up by tomorrow night or Monday at the latest.

I finally got around to developing a roll shot last November just before Michael and I broke up. So there may a few of those posted too. Depends on how I feel.

Willie’s last week:

Willie’s in Manhattan for a weekend of fun before returning to Nicaragua on Tuesday. We three were a mess all week. I really miss him already. We did the beach Monday and Tuesday.

Wednesday is when I got the news about Citibank, so I wasn’t at my best when I got home. Willie was busy packing so Danger-Boy and I got a 12-pack and went to the beach. I put a lot of it away on an empty stomach, then we bought a joint from a guy there and smoked that. I was really a mess when we got to Willie’s around ten. Danger-Boy took off for a while and Willie let me cry on his shoulder. Then I got sick. A fine farewell that. We’d been looking forward to a final fling. I screwed it up.

On Thursday, Danger-Boy helped Willie clean his apartment during the day, then took me to the beach after work. We were both more than a little bit on-edge. We wound up having a fight. It started at the beach and continued in the car all the way home.

He had been trying to cheer me up, and I wasn’t having any of it. And he’s got a lot of issues right now too. So between the two of us, it just went from bad to worse. I got a bit out of control and said some mighty hurtful things. And I accidentally hit him in the balls with a beer can I was thrusting back at him in the car. Naturally, he didn’t want anything to do with me after that.

I dropped him off and came home and went to bed. I was just drifting off when I remembered it was Willie’s last night in town. So I walked over to his place and joined the continuous stream of well-wishers. I hung around and talked ‘til after midnight. He gave me some more stuff for Danger-Boy, and another friend of his, Jim, gave me a ride home.

I’d managed to keep the waterworks under control as we said our last good-byes, but I cried myself to sleep when I got home. Tears are running down my face now.

I’ve gotta stop. More tomorrow…